it didn't go as bad as i expected it might, but it was still mighty awkward.
so walking to the bus friday, i was like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
and i realized when i didn't see him, that he had probably gotten a ride up with someone.
so the 3 hour bus ride there i was pretty quiet and at one point amanda (she just finished her masters in english from the US/Canada, and is becoming a good friend of mine) looked at me and asked how i was doing because she realized that he was going to be there. i said i'm ok, and its gonna be weird, but i'm not gonna let it ruin my weekend.
so we get there and after moving into one of the rooms and opening a bottle of koppelberg,i go to walk into the sitting room where a lot of people are hanging out by the fire, so i open the door and there he is on the couch, i walk out and head straight for the kitchen. i felt as i had just seen a ghost. i spent the next hour or so helping to make team cusine's dinner. there were 7 of us cooking together and we made some rocking dinners. so apparently i looked really pale in the kitchen and amanda just gave me a big hug. so after dinner i went into the sitting room, and had a great time. we did the crazy flexibility games with the cardboard box, then people climbed the hostel walls, we circumnavigated the table, and we were in the same room, both doing the games. so it wasn't too bad. while i was on the table colin and brian, while i was hanging upside down from the table went yea, double fist that. and told everyone in the room the story, and all weekend they kept giving me two glasses to hold. but with marcus on friday night it was a complete ignore situation and i was ok with that. i had a great time with my friends and laughing with everyone, despite the awkardness.
saturday was great during the day. hiked the abfab mt. brandon, one of my favourite mountains. the view was great, up to about 2/3 the way up, when we hit the clouds, and we got misted on because we were in a cloud. but it was still great craic. i hiked up the sea cliff side and then down the pilgrim path, where we joked around about the stations of the cross and made up fun jesus ones as we walked down. it was great to be back on brandon and for me to hike and forget about everything on my mind. lucky for me he decided to go climbing with a few people instead of hiking. so it was a great day.
that night though, not as great. so after another fab team cuisine dinner. i was walking in the hall and pretty much bumped into him. i was like fuck, so that was the closest we came to talking or not being across the room from each other. and so for the night we were pretty much always in separate rooms, and at one point i went into the kitchen to get my malibu, i was drinking malibu and sprite and i had about 3/4 of a bottle..... and he was in the kitchen and i sat down and joined the discussion, after a few minutes he left. i laughed. so i was having a great night, laughing with friends and everything,and it was about 2am at this point. and colin and brian were sitting on the coach with me, and brian touched my side on accident and i start laughing and he realised i was ticklish. so he goes to colin, she is ticklish and he tries to tickle me. so i didnt want to be tickled, so i was like seriously stop guys. so they continued, so i slapped colin. and was like not this weekend. and they realised. and this was the start to my downturn. so brian sees i look upset and takes me outside to talk. so him and i talk and i was crying at this point, and he was really great, reminding me that not many people would have come and that i did and i'm the better person. so then amanda comes and was amazing. she was like we are going for a walk, so we walk down towards the ocean and had a great chat about everything and she was great and just got me to talk about everything and get out how i was feeling. so after our walk, i head upstairs to wash my face and take out the contacts and i went back downstairs and sat and hung out for about another hour with people, and he was in the other room. so i finally went to bed around half 4.
sunday i was up early to go climbing :) yay! a gorgeous morning out on dunsheen. i climbed 5 routes and i did my first lead climb outside. leading is where you aren't clipped into the rope at top and as you climb you place gear, which holds ya in. so it was my first time doing it and i did great. before this i climbed 3 really great climbs and i did the climb i leaded, which was really easy. so it was a gorgeous sunny day and i got some great pictures :) and climbing outside at one of the most gorgeous places was what i needed after saturday night. so got back to the hostel in time to pack up and shower then hit the bus for the ride home, where we sang the 3 hours home. it was fab and such a great weekend. i am so wrecked though, both physically and emotionally. i am covered in bruises from the table along my arms and legs and my knees are killing me and so bruised from climbing. hahah, oh yea, so climbing on sunday a route i love is a huge crack, and you have to shove your hands in the crack to climb, so i have two hands in the crack and just burst out laughing because of all the double fisting jokes. so i'm going climbing in a little bit tonight, to stretch out and get some exercise and to see some friends.
so it was so weird seeing him, even from across the room and not talking. it was slightly awkward but i don't know how it would have gone if we had talked. so i am so glad the weekend is over and its something i hope i don't have to deal with again for a long time.
so yesterday i just worked all day, and was slightly out of it because i was so tired and sooo sore. but i went to the wall last night and i only did 2 climbs. but i made it to the top of the overhang! i was so excited. i was at a point for the last 2 weeks where i couldn't get past a certain line on the wall on any climbs, and yesterday was the first time i made it above it. i was completely wrecked after that, but so excited. then i met kara for our monday night pint and it was fab to catch up from the weekend :)
so tonight is dinner with kara and then doing work, wednesday is climbing and pub :) and then saturday i'm going to killarney for my roomate grainne's 21st party! yay! no hiking this weekend though.
trying to circumnavigate the table!
yay for dingle and mt. brandon!
more climbing
me climbing up
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